Buxton Bounce Back?

After a reasonably quiet effort in Worthing, the social side of the CGS seemed to regain some of it's former glory

The weekend got off to a poor start as regards keeping in with the locals is concerned. Lofty had engaged the services of a local Sherpa (Nepalese guide, not a crap BL Van) to show Bomber the delights of Buxton. They were taken to the spring which spouts forth the world-renowned Buxton Spa water. The Sherpa took a mouthful and encouraged the reluctant Bomber to do likewise. He took one swig and, much to the local's disgust, spat it straight back out, complaining "it was horrible, salty and warm" Remember that Bomber next time you encourage a lady to perform an unspeakable sexual act on you!

The weekend really started with the pre-game drink at the 9-hole competition - a couple in the hotel followed by more than a couple at the golf club. That set the tone for the rest of the weekend. After the presentation of the 9-hole prize, of which more elsewhere, we adjourned to the Lo don Road pub (on London Road but the pub sign was missing an "n"). Struggling through some insipid Ryder golf coverage, albeit with excellent beer involved, we gave that one up whilst promising to return for the Karaoke evening tomorrow. We were advised to try the New Inn in Market street as they had an excellent female vocalist on show. Off we toddled and turned up at the new Inn to be greeted by the vocal talents of a large blonde bombshell, who nevertheless sang a good variety of songs from down the ages (some from before even I was born). DLT tried to help her out with one particular old wartime favourite, by sliding forward on his knees in front of her and miming the playing of a brass instrument. After the song she responded with "who was the twat playing the Saxophone?" - as the song was the Andrews Sister's"Boogie-woogie Bugle Boy of Company B" either Dave's miming was slightly off or she was just thick! Dave's performance was spot on by the way! We got the impression that she didn't like not being the centre of her audience's attention and decided to decamp to the King's Head over the road and leave her audience to suffer without our further input. The King's Head was another reasonable pub and we sat outside watching the world go by - or watching the dangerously young and under-dressed females of Buxton stagger to the next pub/nightclub. Various people decided to visit the Buxton Food Stop for sustenance, Lofty upsetting the staff by insisting on a Liver Kebab - click here for the Pizza version of the joke, you'll need sound!

Saturday night's sojourn had a rather late start after the extended prize-giving session at the hotel. It was decided that most were more interested in food than beer to start with and so we headed off to the Great Panda Chinese Restaurant where we had a meal for 4 for 8 and Lofty had a Duck (No, it's not rhyming slang). Food was good and evening was enlivened by DLT giving Kev H. a vicious slap upside the head when it looked as though Asteroid was going to fall asleep. It certainly woke up the rest of the table, who were all waiting for a response other than "F**king Hell, that hurt!". There's no website for the restaurant, so I've included a picture of a small panda to cheer everyone up.

Following the gastronomic treat, we decided to forego the aforementioned Karaoke at the Lo don Road and head for the Cheshire Cheese Hotel, with the attraction of live music. First of all I must say that this pub had the friendliest bouncers in the world - so much so a couple of us spent 20 minutes talking to the attractive blonde (female) bouncer! Also, we could hear the live music from outside and were therefore really quite hesitant to actually enter the pub. The 4 piece band consisted of a bongo player, a trombonist, a guitarist who sounded as though he knew what he was doing and a behatted singer who was so far up his own arse that his head had actually reappeared at the top of his neck. Not to appear too critical of this 4 piece ensemble (called Man in a Doll's House, so you probably get the picture whether you've read Ibsen or not), there were varied comments from the CGS musical afficianados. The comments ranged from "Shite" to "I like anybody who tries to do something different". I think the Shites won by 8 to 1. Still, to be fair, we were still in the pub at closing time so they can't have been that bad (they were, they really, really were!). After a bit of investigation I have found that the band are actually called "Boy in a Doll's House" and they are in fact a five piece band - at least I didn't see the Bass player if he was there, Members: Ric Bateman (Guitar), Jolly Jok (Trombone/vocals), Ben Squires (Bass), Alan Charnley (Vocals), John Tallguy (Drums). You can check them out on their web site here and they do sound better than their live gig.
The CGS entourage eventually decamped to a night club said to be frequented by people who weren't in their early teens, Level 2. It transpired that this was an outright lie as the customers were indeed in their early teens, or less. After a performance on the dance floor by DLT, enjoyed by everyone, he was joined by Kev H. in his Asteroid persona, emptying the dance floor within 20 seconds. Upstairs were some comfortable chesterfields and as drink was available there, the CGS sat down, returning to the Hotel at different times over the next 4 hours in various stages of inebriation. Once again a really good night.

The weekend was clouded by bit of a mystery. One of the large flowerpots flanking the front door of the Hotel was found in three pieces on Sunday morning. More of this to follow later as DCI Warwick Hunt is on the case again.

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